We are all born with different backgrounds. Some may feel that, “Why is it so unfair that ‘they’ have so much more in life once they are born? Why ‘am I’ so unlucky? Why can’t I have an easy and comfortable life like them?”. The fact is, we always have the thought that, “The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.”

One of the most deceptive lie in this modern world is that our life is supposed to be easy going and comfortable. People in this generation believe that they are entitled to have all these as fundamental human right. Gradually, many of us may have taken this subtle thinking, even though we may not notice it. When things around us start to become inconvenient or difficult, we are almost upset at the unfairness of it. We blame it on everything else that violates the easy life we thought we should have. We complain and make no effort to improve the situation ourselves.

Life is never fair, and will not be in future too. Things aren’t always easy, nor were they meant to be. That doesn’t mean anyone in particular need to be blamed. There are things that are just what they are, and by accepting the fact is the first step to real freedom.

There was an old saying: ” Life is hard and then you die.” This may sound so brutal and pessimistic, as if life is just suffering and awaiting to die. But let us look at it at a brighter side, and this saying will strike at a deeper truth: It is only when you accept life as it is that we can really live with joy.

People who lived before the industrialisation are realists. Apart from anticipating a life of air conditioned comfort, they expected that life would be hard, even painful. Making a living would unquestionably involve labour, sweat and sacrifice. There may be sorrow along the way, but far from depressing them. All those expectations freed them to enjoy the leisure and simple pleasures they did have more fully. When you epect things to be hard,  you enjoy your ease the more.

The aim in this modern world and society has been on a long quest to eradicate suffering. For those who have grown up in this modern society have been raised to believe we have a right to a pain-free and pleasure-maximised life. Paradoxically, it is the expectation that life should be pain free that causes us the ultimate suffering. For the pain in life is truly unavoidable. It will visit us in one form or another. The more we resist this inevitable fact, the more anxiety, anger and bitterness the suffering will be brought upon us.

So, how do we experience happiness? In life, the joy we experience is directly related to our frame of mind.

“The man who said, “Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed,” put the eulogy quite inadequately and even falsely. The truth “Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall be gloriously surprised.” The man who expects nothing sees redder roses than common men can see, and greener grass, and a more startling sun. Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall possess the cities and the mountains; blessed is the meek, for he shall inhereit the earth. Until we realize that things might not be we cannot realize that things are.”

If we continuously expect ease, comfort and endless pleasure, difficulties will be a loathsome shock. But once we accept life that include pain and sorrow, we will not be surprised when it appears. We will endure it with patience and perseverance. We will receive the gifts of joy and pleasure we do experience with all the humble wonder that comes with an unexpected and undeserved surprise.

Nothing is fair, nor unfair, embrace it and live with it 🙂